I often get asked how does it work with another switch?

It’s simple: we fight constantly.

We’re both D/s, S/m, and insanely aggressive. Verbally and physically. To be clear though we also have a relationship outside the fighting, and with all the things in life that count we agree, really we just like fighting. This is an important note, for all relationships involving BDSM, we actually do care about each other and have good communication at all times even while slamming each others’ heads against the wall.

This is also not a topping and bottoming kind of scenario. The terms top and bottom I tend to take as referring to the act, and the more emotional and mental sides of BDSM are left out of the picture or cease to be when the scene ends. This is not the case with me, and it never has been.

Also, I have found my switch/switch partnerships to be more severe than dominant submissive ones. Largely because our version of impact play requires immobilizing a moving target. The fail safe for serious injury tends to be that we end up immobilizing each other. A few weeks ago we stopped ourselves from asphyxiating because we both had fingers dug into our necks. We were both starting to lose consciousness and thus both let up on the grip.

It’s a lovely scenario because the joy is in winning and losing. I equally love paralyzing him with pain, as I enjoy being paralyzed with pain.

The dynamics also build slowly over time. Old tricks cease to work, so we add new ones, we get bored of one thing and start doing another. In a past switch/switch relationship this occurred as well and after several months we had a whole box of gear and range of things we liked to do to one another.

However, adversarial dynamics still involve top drop, sub drop, and require aftercare. It’s interesting and really amounts to something I’m inclined to call switch drop. When I drop after submissive scenes the experience is quite different. As there is that kinda amazing sub drop void, though also a concern for my partner and where they’re at. That piece of my mind which directs towards my responsibility towards another keeps me from getting lost. I enjoy this headspace more, as it’s less lonely.

It’s nice going through the same adrenalin drain, and both dealing with the aches and pains. As it’s a similar experience it’s easier for us to care for one another and relate to each other.